freedom isn't just doing what you want

i feel cracked open. 

a few months ago i made a decision that on the surface seems pretty controversial. people didn't like it, close friends ranted, my parents were quietly concerned...(i'm going to tell you what it is, in another article...) 

i kept going. the unmistakable voice of my intuition, wordless and binary, lead me out of where i was and into somewhere new, a new place, another life configuration where my projection of what other people's projection would be became totally irrelevant. 

my desire, my inner compass, didn't give a shit. it wanted to take me deeper into flow. my desire sparks action, it pulls me out of my conditioning and doesn't care about what people think about me, it's pure, it's what enlivens me from the inside out. 

the desire to follow that intuition came through me, not as force but initiated from somewhere far larger, as a natural state, wiggling through and emerging from the mind gunk that tried to block it. 

I dropped into a state of deeper listening and surrender.

i set about changing my life and saying yes in places that i had not yet said yes, then the yeses had a flow of their own and pretty soon i was plugged into an unprecedented level of power in myself, my body has woken up in a new way and my inner guidance system is working with such a clarity that it is impossible to ignore. (though sometimes i still try).

when i sit in the seat of who i really am as opposed to who i think i should be, that is the only true freedom that i know. 

 

photo credit ajay padda